Piranha 3DD (2012) - ★½

Director: John Gulager
Writer: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Joel Soisson (Screenplay)
Stars: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, David Koechner, David Hasselhoff, Christopher Lloyd, Gary Busey, Ving Rhames

Piranha 3DD is, as you would expect, a god-awful movie. It's raunchy, amateurish, and filled with horrible performances. However, it's not all bad. I laughed my ass off towards the end of the movie. This is probably the lowest form of comedy, yet to me a lot of the gags were just plain hilarious! If not for the irritatingly slow and unfunny first half, I'd probably have given this 3 Stars.


I don't think I need to go into too much detail about the plot. Basically there's this waterpark that is for sexy, buxom women mostly. The owner is the cliché bad guy that doesn't care if trouble is coming... so when he hears that there may be a flock of killer piranha's swimming into the park, he ignores it. Carnage, mayhem, and some hilarity ensues in this 'so bad it's funny' spoof of a monster film.

David Hasselhoff made the movie. I can't believe how funny he was! This will probably seem strange, but I think this is the role I'll always remember him for. David Koechner played the evil owner of the water-park, and his terrible acting made me laugh even harder. It was like he was making fun of the cliché, rather than conforming to it, which is why I think it worked.

Hasselhoff is surprisingly funny in Piranha 3DD.

Whenever the veteran comedic actors were on screen, this movie was funny. When the younger and less-talented actors performed, I pretty much tuned out. All of the crude and gross stuff at the start really got on my nerves, because it wasn't presented in a very funny way. It was pretty much just a bunch of porn stars bouncing around in the pool. Hey, at least they've finally made it to showbiz, right?

Comedy and nudity never looked this terrible.

Nah, in all seriousness, I couldn't possibly recommend this movie to anyone. I personally found a lot of it to be funny. I guess I was just in a really silly mood, because usually things like this don't entertain me as much. Piranha 3DD is unashamedly rude, yet surprisingly entertaining.