Spring Breakers (2013) - ★

Director: Harmony Korine
Writer: Harmony Korine
Stars: James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, Gucci Mane

I don't know what the purpose of Spring Breakers is, whether it be to highlight how society is going down the drain or if the characters are just an example of stupid girls with bad ideals... but I just couldn't stop myself from crossing my arms and shaking my head throughout the film. It's just so stupid. SO STUPID. None of these actresses gave convincing performances. There was little to no substance in the dialogue. Their actions were unrealistic, which further alienated me from the characters. It's just one gargantuan mess of scenes and dialogue that is aimed to impress 9th grader's who are having a serious identity crisis. It felt like the longest, slowest, most boring music video I've ever seen in my life.


Basically, four young women really want to go to Spring Break. They like sex, they like drugs, three of them like violence, and none of them come across as human beings with something interesting to say. After committing a serious crime, they manage to get enough money to go. They delve into the wild world of parties, drugs, sex, and even more crime. James Franco makes an appearance, but his wacky character is ruined by the over-usage of repetition and lack of anything interesting to say.

The beginning of the film reminded me of those really degrading film clips that are made for 'club music' videos. For example, it's like Benny Benassi's film clip 'Satisfaction,' but instead of girls jiggling their boobs on a construction site, they're bouncing naked on a beach. The further we delve into the film, the more it seems like one big music video. The music itself is modern and nice to listen to, but the cinematography consists of split second establishing shots of the girls: staring at the beach, smoking drugs, and committing crimes. It's just one big party music video that I suspect someone young and naive (or an adult going through a mid-life crisis) would think is cool.

We see these bratty teenage girls complain about their boring, common-place lives and how they want something different. I really should care, but I don't. They just don't strike me as interesting people, because there's little to no insight or wisdom into their words or lives. The teenagers in The Breakfast Club had something to say about their lives, their world, and their futures. After we see the stupid shit the girls in Spring Breakers get up to, we then dive straight into how they want their lives to be different. There's no build up or development to their characters... no way of knowing who they truly are. They just plunge us into their complaints and thoughts, which all come across so contrived and groundless. While ever teenager goes through a philosophical stage, I see no reason to take these girls seriously.

Ugh. 

At least the teenagers from the TV show Skins had depth, unlike these churned out party girls. They aren't really characters, but more like objects for drunk teenagers to ogle at. Selena Gomez is the only one we know anything about, and we still hardly know anything about her. The only emotion that is shown in the whole movie comes when Britney Spears' song "Everytime" is played. No, the characters still don't show versatility in their emotions... it's just the song.

One thing that made me despise this film is its slow repetition. We get it. We heard you the first time James Franco, just shut up! Also, how about a bit of range in the actions of the girls? They just stair aimlessly into the distance like cattle, scream for no reason, giggle at nothing, and we see shots of their crotches constantly. Honestly, this is one of the most tedious, boring films I've ever seen. It's so damn slow, and the action is few and far between! I just wanted to fast forward the whole movie. Spring Breakers just might be the worst movie of 2013.