Monday, 15 April 2013

Dumplings ‘Jiao zi’ (2004) – Zero Stars

DumplingsDirector: Fruit Chan
Writer: Pik Wah Li
Stars: Pauline Lau, Tony Leung Ka Fai, Bai Ling

I was flicking through channels to see if a movie was on and found ‘Dumplings’ on SBS. I love Hong Kong cinema, so I gave this movie a chance. If ever there was a movie that I’d erase from my memory, it would be this one. The further into the movie I got, the more unclean I felt. It has an evil vibe and is not in the least bit enjoyable. It’s one of the worst movies ever made.

It’s about a housewife who wants her husband to find her attractive again, so she starts eating human foetus’ to rejuvenate her youth. She gets these foetus’ from a ‘backyard abortionist’ woman who used to be a doctor. This woman has been eating foetus’ for decades, and she looks about 30 years old. The doctor is a beauty expert, yet she has the worst style and hair I’ve ever seen on an Asian woman.

Some of the twisted scenes this film contains include: a man eating a chicken foetus from an egg, the doctor cutting up raw foetus’, the woman eating the foetus’ (with horrific sound effects), and the most messed up abortion scene I’ve ever seen.

How sick are the fantasies of the people who made this film? Not only is the story cringe-worthy, but the visuals of human foetus’ being cut into pieces and eaten nearly made me throw up. It’s stupid, it’s disgusting, and it’s unnecessary. The thought of this happening should have been enough, but they crossed the line.

Avoid this movie as if it were a disease ridden rat that was set on fire and has a vendetta against you.

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